If You Believe Life Is Unfair – How To Get Out Of Your Victim Story
Most people talk openly about being stressed, but hardly ever talk about their fears.
We Are Fearful About…
Where our relationship is going.
Facing an illness.
Failing while pursuing a new dream, talent or passion.
Change Is Frightening
Any transition or change, even if it is something we want, can be frightening.
It is frightening, because nothing changes without something ending.
We must go through the process of letting go of who we were, to become who we know we must.
Is It A Hostile Universe?
So then we feel at the mercy of a hostile universe.
When bad things happen, we start to believe the Universe is out to get us.
We feel hurt and like it is not our fault.
We did nothing to deserve this.
The Pitfalls Of Being A Victim
At some point, it is so easy to fall into a victim mode.
When we get bad news…
Our financial advisor tells us we lost $$.
Our lover leaves us.
We get devastating news from our doctor.
We get fired.
We get angry or frustrated or overwhelmed by grief or rage and then blame the universe or the other person or even ourselves.
Life Can Feel Unfair
We never want to feel uncertainty or to be hurt or abandoned.
We don’t want to ever lose something.
If we are not careful, we can get caught or attached to our victim story.
We get stuck in always blaming someone else or bad luck or bad genes or our childhood.
We Can Choose
The truth is we always have a choice.
It is our judgement if something is good or bad, that creates our suffering.
When we perceive what happens to us as bad, than we fall into the victim mode.
Shift Your World View
So I invite you to shift your perspective.
To start to looking at your life in an empowered way.
While we cannot choose what happens to us, we are at a choice of how we respond.
Tragedy Creates Change
Tragedies are often the catalyst that transforms us.
If we respond from a place of power, no matter whatever is happening, we develop resiliency and courage.
We can stop judging something as good or bad and instead decide everything that happens is there for our growth and learning.
A New View
I believe we have consciousness that is beyond our human body.
I believe we come into this world to experience life and to learn so we can grow and evolve through our lessons.
I also believe we have choices and can make a decision of what we will experience in this lifetime to learn and grow.
They are many options of suffering we can experience….
Getting ill, losing a parent, spouse or child, being sexually abused, losing everything…
It’s Not Cause Or Effect
You did not earn your tragedy.
Instead we choose to experience different things in our life so we can learn and grow.
I bet we can all look back at some of our tragedies as some of the most transformative times in our lives.
Instead of getting stuck in a victim story, we can allow it to wake us up and transform us.
Instead of letting it break us – we can let it break us open.
It’s A Purposeful World
If we believe it is a purposeful world, then we have a choice in how we view tragedy.
If we believe we have a part in co-creating what’s happening to us, then we can get to the other side of our victim story.
But to do that we have to give up some things like complaining or blaming.
As an excuse not to go after their dreams.
They get some secondary gains from being in their victim story.
They get to feel self righteous indignation, get attention from other people or feel wronged.
But there is a gift when we give up our victim story and that is we realize we have the ability to choose.
We can choose a different story!
Your New Story
When we let go of being a victim, we feel empowered to tell a better story…
I can learn from my mistakes.
I am strong enough to handle this.
I can heal.
I can let go.
I can find someone who loves me.
I can always earn more $$.
I always bounce back.
Good things will start to bubble up in our lives, when we allow the victim story to drop away.
It is when we grasp, because we are afraid we are not going to get what we want.
Or if we fear losing what we have, that we have trouble with the ups and downs of life.
Trusting there is a purpose and you will always grow from the situation can be liberating and joyful.
How To Get Out Of Victim Mode
Ready to have a zero tolerance for having a victim story? I’d love to help.
Click on the graphic below to get some clarity on how to make that happen in your life.