Letting Go Of Resistance
Rather than allowing life to carry us where we want to go, we spend a lot of time resisting.
We assume we need to struggle to get what we want.
But what if it is not true?
What if you could allow the natural flow of life support you in having what you want?
Think of a day when everything seemed to go right…
The greatest obstacle to being in flow all day is resistance to what is. You can let go of resistance just like another other feeling!
Resistance prevents you from moving forward in all areas of your life.
What Is Resistance?
Have you ever started a project and was very excited about it and then somewhere you lost your enthusiasm?
It is the main thing that stops us from having, doing, being what we really want in life.
In fact we often resist what we really want and care about.
If someone tells us to do something it often triggers our resistance even if we want to do what we are being told to do.
It is crazy.
Resistance is self-sabatoging and is constantly operating because we live in a world of “shoulds,” “have tos” and “musts.”
When you are being told what you should do it brings up “No way – don’t tell me what to do!”
Ironically it brings up the same reaction when we tell ourselves what to do.
“You should get up earlier and go work out.” Then you don’t.
That is just the nature of our minds, we don’t like being told what to do.
All Our Should’s Hold Us Back
We constantly “should” ourselves and then don’t understand why we aren’t happy, having more fun and getting things done.
When I was little I loved to draw.
My dad trying to encourage me would tell me to go draw.
One day I didn’t feel like it but he insisted and so it became a point of contention. So eventually I felt like I hated drawing and wanted to avoid it at all costs.
Unintentionally my father had thrown me into resistance to drawing and believing I hated drawing, which was not true.
What Is Resistance?
Resistance shows up in many different ways… You forget to do something that is important to you…or you stop doing what would be helpful to you.
Here are some definitions:
The feeling or thought “I can’t”
Feelings like moving forward with the brakes on.
When you have not decided to do or not do something.
To overcome resistance, you must feel the resistance and do it anyway even if it is difficult.
To make it easier all you have to do is decide to do it or decide not to do it.
How To Let Go Of Resistance
I often use the Sedona Method to help clients let go:
Step 1: Allow yourself to feel the resistance.
Step 2: Ask yourself:
Could I welcome/ allow the resistance to be here? Dive deeper into it…until you feel a letting go.
Can I let this resistance go?
Would I let this go?
Am I willing to let this go?
Would I rather have this resistance or be free?
Step 3: Now how are you feeling? If you still feel resistance repeat steps one and two.
Once you truly understand you can let go of resistance, you will find yourself doing it often without a lot of thought.
Always remember “yes” and “no” are acceptable answers. You often will still let go even if the answer is “no.”
Avoid Internal Debates
Avoid getting into an internal debate as to where you should release the resistance and the consequences of letting them go.
Whatever your response just move on to the next step.
Eventually the more persistent you are, the more you will notice the results.
Often we have layers of resistance and so it may take a while to release something entirely.
Even though I am a “get-it-done” type of person I do tend to procrastinate on writing blogs.
When I learned this method and asked myself, “Could I welcome how much I hate to write?”
I would just start jotting down notes and then momentum would kick in.
I don’t now love to write, but I find I move forward more easily and feel less stuck.
Like anything, letting go of resistance is not going to work unless you actually do it.
But if you do apply it, you will experience a change in perspective and definitely some movement.
More Ways To Let Go Of Resistance
1. Simple substitute the words “have to” or “must” to “want to” or “doing.”
2. Let’s say you are resisting not having a relationship and being alone. I guarantee you are also resisting having a relationship. Try releasing both sides of the issue.
3. Write out “Things I Have To Do” by making 2 columns on a sheet of paper labeled “Things I Have To Do” on one column and “What is my NOW feeling about that?”
Practice releasing the feeling and any resistance by asking the same questions from above.
Pay the bills – Anger
Follow up on emails – Resistance
Clean house – Lethargic
Resistance About Our Bodies
We also resist things about our body – feeling certain sensations or the way it looks.
So practice letting go of resistance by finding something physically that you resist:
Welcome the resistance into your awareness…
i.e. I hate the feeling of fear
Could you let it go?
Resisting Letting Go
If you still are resisting letting go, then just give yourself permission to hold on to your stubborn resistance.
“Could I give myself permission to hold on to this for awhile?”
Then ask, “Could I let go of holding on?” “Would I?” “When?”
Once you have giving yourself permission to do what you are already doing, often that is enough to create the space to let it go.
How To Handle Future Resistance
1. Ask Someone Don’t Tell Them
When you tell someone what to do, it will immediately bring up resistance so be smart.
I recommend asking permission to give advice or even your opinion.
Frame your ask by telling them what you want verses telling what they should do.
2. Do What You Want To Do
Allow yourself to do what you want to do and not do what you are not doing without “shoulding” yourself. You will find that letting go and not obsessing over not doing will often create the wanting to do. You break out of the block of resistance.
3. Ease Off The Pressure
If what you are doing feels hard, it should be clear by now you have hit some resistance probably from pressuring yourself or feeling the pressure from someone else.
4. Make a conscious decision to take off the pressure.
As a result you will often find yourself getting more done with a much better attitude.
Interesting fact: You can’t feel others pressuring you, you can only feel yourself pushing back.
So all you need to do is let go of the feelings of wanting to push back or resist their pushes.
Resistance is a major block to having what you want and feeling how you want to feel.
You can easily let those blocks go and enjoy life by choosing how you want to feel and operate in the world.