DO YOU COMPROMISE YOUR VALUES TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS?
Most self help books and courses focus on goal-setting to cultivate confidence, success and peak performance.
But if you want the best chance of achieving your goals, then you need to get clear on your values first.
VALUES ARE INSPIRING
Goals are something you are trying to achieve in the future and are typically challenging.
Without your values to keep you motivated, you might not persist when the going gets rough and you have run out of the mojo to get yourself there.
VALUES GIVE GUIDANCE
Your values are like a map.
They guide and give you direction.
They keep you on track.
If you are pursuing a goal that is out of alignment with your core values, then it almost always leads to failure and disappointment.
If you use your values to set personal and meaningful goals, you will feel excited and unstoppable.
VALUES CREATE FULFILLMENT
With every step you take toward your goals, you will know you are standing for something and doing something meaningful with your life.
That will give you a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment.
PRACTICE IS UNCOMFORTABLE
You can’t expect to feel confident in any activity until you have developed the necessary skills.
And you cannot develop these skills unless you PRACTICE.
Being able to fully engage in what you do through mindfulness and unhook from unhelpful thoughts such as worrying and self doubt requires practice.
Unfortunately, the thought of practice makes most people uncomfortable.
To avoid the discomfort, then you don’t practice.
You put it off or skip it.
Putting it off provides temporary relief and the uncomfortable feelings disappear.
AVOIDANCE DOESN’T WORK
We all like to have good feelings and do what we can to avoid or get rid of unpleasant ones.
This can become a habit…
You start to make choices based on what gives you the least discomfort in the short term, rather than what gives you fulfillment in the long term.
The more you are unwilling to make room for discomfort, the lower your quality of life.
It actually leads to you never reaching your potential, increased stress and eventually depression and anxiety.
Because the more you try to avoid discomfort, the more you will act based on how you feel, rather than what is most important to you in your life.
You will avoid doing challenging things that could be life-enhancing, because you are unwilling to make room for uncomfortable thoughts and feelings that show up.
The more you choose action that gives you short-term relief from discomfort, rather than doing what will bring meaning and fulfillment in our life, the smaller and emptier our life becomes.
LIVING IN THE COMFORT ZONE
It’s called living in the comfort zone.
What tools and strategies have you learned, but have not applied them or used them?
You probably justified not using your tools, by saying it was not important or you’ll do it later, because doing it caused discomfort.
So you chose to skip it and you probably felt some relief, but you are putting off going after your important goals and challenges on a regular basis.
You are not behaving like the person you really want to be and not making choices that are in-line with your long term best interests.
So how do you keep yourself going when you are tired, bored, frustrated, stressed, scared or not in the mood?
What can motivate you to step out of your comfort zone into challenging situations that are guaranteed to bring up fear and anxiety?
VALUES ARE OUR GUIDANCE SYSTEM
Values give you direction, guide your path and keep you on track.
Your goals are what you want to accomplish along the way: to swim the river, scale the mountain or get to the castle.
For instance if climbing Mount Rainier was your goal…
Your values might be: courage, persistence, perseverance, health/fitness, connecting with nature and adventure.
You will be climbing with a team and so what sort of teammate do you want to be: reliable, considerate, flexible, open minded, etc.
Notice that you can live by those values as you work toward your goal.
Even if you never accomplish your goal, you can live by those values.
CONFIDENCE TO REACH YOUR GOALS
What changes would you have to make to develop the confidence to set your goals and take the actions you need to take?
How would you behave differently?
What are your core values?
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