How To Stop Self Sabotaging Program
Do you find yourself:
overeating or eating too much junk food
compulsive computer gaming
…as your escape, source of pleasure or comfort or as a way to de-stress?
Are You Sick And Tired Of Your Self-Sabotaging Behaviors?
Do you keep promising yourself you’ll stop?
Like my client, Nancy, who ate only whole, organic food…except when she drives to 7-Eleven to secretly stuff herself with her childhood favorite, Ding Dongs. Or Steve, who considered himself an ambitious, conscientious person, but comes home and drinks and smokes pot, whenever something stressful happens at work. Lucy, an accountant, who prided herself on squeezing every penny she makes, yet frequently goes on shopping binges that keep her in permanent credit card debt.
“Why Do I Do This To Myself?”
Have you tried resisting the urges for a few hours or even days – only to go back to it when you are stressed or in pain?
If so, you may have told yourself: I am weak, selfish, have an “addictive” personality, have a physical reason that makes stopping impossible?
Do you believe there is something inherently “wrong or bad about you”?
Self-sabotaging behaviors provide relief and definitely pleasure in the short-term, but get in the way of you feeling in control and living a truly satisfying and fulfilling life.
It doesn’t have to be that way!
Why You Have Not Been Able To Stop?
People who self-sabotage, tend to feel their emotions strongly and often have had to deal with some very painful situations growing up.
If you are like me, you told yourself: “I’m just going to try not to feel” or “I’m just not going to think about it.” It doesn’t work – those emotions may get stuffed down, but they don’t disappear.
Often they show up as dis-ease or pain in the body.
If you tried to push those feelings away, eventually you probably needed additional help to “turn them off.” And so you resorted to one or more self sabotaging behaviors.
Short term, these behaviors are very effective.
So you may never learned other ways to deal with your difficult feelings of anger, fear, stress, pressure, pain, hurt or sadness.
The truth is if you only have that one method to stop pain or discomfort, you will have strong urges to continue the behavior.
It’s Not Your Fault…You Are Not Lazy Or Undisciplined
Back in caveman times, our brains were conditioned to seek pleasure (food, shelter, a mate), to avoid pain and do what we have always done.
So we are conditioned to do what we have always done to avoid pain or discomfort. The more you do your destructive behavior, you create strong neural pathways in the brain.
Then it becomes an unconscious habit. That is why you may often feel out of control – as if you are doing the behavior against your own will.
The good news is that our brains have “plasticity.”
So you can change these ingrained pathways by replacing them with new ones, which will change your actions and behaviors.
That is the key to permanently stopping self sabotage. And you will have no need for willpower or extra effort to resist those behaviors.
Here Is The Process We’ll Use To Change Your Self Sabotaging Behaviors:
1. First, we identify the specific belief programs that are causing the problems.
2. These are unconscious beliefs like “I’m unworthy,” I’m unloveable” and “I’m not good enough.”
3. The transformational work is going to be shifting and changing those beliefs, so you stop having those automatic destructive reactions.
4. You will get specific tools to:
- Maximize your internal resources
- Change and remove looping negative thoughts
- Process and let go of difficult emotions
- Enhance your communication skills so easily interacting with others becomes natural and normal
- Have the self awareness to solve your own problems and become your own coach for anything that comes up in the future
5. Lastly we’ll create action plans to move your life forward and live your purpose
The Program Includes:
A Personal Exploration Survey – an invaluable tool that starts the process and gets you deeply thinking about your current situation. Your answers give me a clear picture of the problem areas, what is going on with you and gives us a foundation to launch from.
12 (90 minute) Coaching Sessions – in person or over the phone/skype/zoom, where we get right to work on your core issues. You’ll learn strategies to quickly shift the dynamics of your behaviors and tools you can use after our work together is done.
12 Session Recordings – get an audio recording of each of your sessions. By relistening and reviewing, you may pick up something new and hear yourself shift and change.
Weekly Action Plan aka Homework – to help solidify what we discussed and to help you start incorporating the tools into your life.
Handouts/Worksheets – of the tools you will be learning in your session and for your future reference.
Numerous Resources – worksheets, articles, books and other resources that will enhance our work together.
Full Access Via Email or Text – because sometimes you just need a little redirection or perspective.
Full transparency, Authenticity and Openness – gain from my personal life and experiences, because I’ve been where you are. I know how to get you from where you are to where you want to be.
Is This Right For Me?
Great question. Before you invest in anything, we’ll get to know each other and explore whether we’re a good fit. That starts when you complete this short exploratory questionnaire.
When I receive it, I’ll send you a link to schedule your 60 minute Complimentary Clarity Session. During that hour I’ll help you get clear on where you are at, where you want to be and your best next steps.
After your Clarity Session, we will know if we are a good fit and if you’re excited to move forward.
How To Get Started!
Click the image below to schedule a complimentary 60 minute clarity session. I’d love to get to know you and help you get some clarity.