WHAT IS FEAR?
Fear is something you create with your mind.
The only time you should feel fear is when there is physical danger or something unexpectedly scares you and triggers that fight-or-flight response.
Most of the fear you probably experience, comes from asking yourself what-if questions followed by an imagined outcome that is negative.
For instance, your biggest fear maybe losing your job.
So your mind is full of what-if questions like, “What if I can’t find another job?,” “What if my money runs out?,” “What if I can’t pay my bills and I have to move in with my parents?” and so on…
Your fear is in your head.
There is no actual physical danger, but your thoughts can trigger feelings of panic and put you into the fight-or-flight mode.
ANSWER THE FEAR
Your brain does not like unanswered questions.
Imagine a young child trying to get her mom’s attention, “Mom! Mom! Mom!”
The more the mother tries to ignore her, the child’s voice gets louder and more persistent.
But as soon as she pays attention to the child, the yelling will stop. And most of the time, what the child really wanted was just attention and acknowledgment.
That is what your what-if’s need – to be acknowledged and redirected.
HOW TO ANSWER YOUR WHAT-IF’s
When you notice your mind is churning with worrisome what-if questions that are causing you fear, use this exercise to redirect your thinking and calm your mind.
Write down on a piece of paper all the what-ifs that come to mind.
For each what-if, write down everything you are afraid might happen…go to the worst case scenario, because your mind needs to acknowledge its biggest fear.
Now redirect your mind away from what you are scared of and toward something that feels neutral and encouraging.
Here are some examples of redirected what-if statements from the example of losing your job:
What if I get a job I like better in 3 months?
What if I can use the money I have saved and take a month off to regroup?
What if losing this job opens up more opportunities for me?
What if this downtime helps me work on my health issues like losing weight and getting back in shape?
Can you see how these questions are much more empowering?
Every time you feel fearful, acknowledge your mind is looping through what-if statements and generating worst case scenarios.
When you notice, immediately take a deep breath and redirect to a what-if question full of possibilities.
Choose possibilities over panic!
WORRY IS FEAR NOT LOVE
Most of us also worry about our future, because we think it gives us some false sense of control.
But worrying is a drain on your energy and completely useless.
I used to be a big worrywart in my teens.
Always worrying about if people liked me, how I looked, if I would get into the college I wanted, etc until I learned ways to manage it and accept the unknown.
Worry is really just using your imagination poorly…if you are going to think about the future why not create some pleasurable?
You’re making it up anyway, why not make up something you actually want.
You have so much ability to direct your creative mental energy, why not use it to create the feelings and experiences you desire rather than dread.
Now you are going to use your imagination in a way that excites you and gives you something to look forward to.
Write out a vision for your life over the course of the next year.
A written version is even more creative than a vision you create with pictures, because writing and gives you the opportunity to be specific and talk about the feelings you want to be experiencing.
Include all aspects of your life – work, relationships, health and well-being, finances, spirituality, hobbies, environment and so on.
Consider what you want to be doing, feeling, experiencing and creating.
Include who you want to be with you and where you want to be.
Write in the present tense as if it is happening right now and be very specific.
It is important to make it believable so you actually buy into it.
At the end, write the sentence, “This or something better, for the highest good of all concerned,” so you can be fee of any expectations.
READY TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE?
If you want to change your life you must change your thoughts with loving discipline.
Your thoughts about what is happening in your life are far more important than what is actually happening.
Courage is not the absence of fear; it is feeling fear and doing it anyway!
“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow. Our life is the creation of our mind.” ~The Buddha
Ready to let go of your fear? Click the graphic below to set up a free clarity session so I can help you become fearless!