Why Do You Drink Too Much?
Buffering with alcohol is one of the things we do, so we don’t have to face the truth and experience the ups and downs of life.
We buffer because we expect to feel comfort, pleasure and happiness all the time.
We assume we should be happy all the time, because we are constantly bombarded with opportunities to feel pleasure.
When you feel bad…
There is a lot of money being made on selling false pleasure.
What Is False Pleasure?
A lot of companies take advantage, by catering to our natural inclination to seek pleasure, by selling us things that are concentrated pleasure.
When you make grapes into wine, sugar cane into sugar and wheat into flour, you get a burst of dopamine effecting the brain in a way that is artificial and causes false pleasure.
Your brain is like, “Wow this is amazing!”
It feels more amazing than your actual life and buffers you from reality.
So your brain then thinks – this is what I need to survival.
When you are feeling stressed, anxious or frustrated, you eat or drink and get that feeling of temporary pleasure that helps you escape from the feeling.
Trying To Escape
Do you truly get to escape? Are you truly happier or has your brain been tricked into thinking that you’ve done something wonderful?
Your brain has been tricked.
The more you eat, the more you want to eat, the more you drink, the more you want to drink, pleasure begets more pleasure. Then you start unconsciously feeling entitled to feel pleasure all the time.
You falsely believe you can escape your difficult feelings all the time, because false pleasure is so readily available.
You need to really consider how much you want to rely on false pleasures for your happiness.
It is possible to find a way to be happy without them.
Feelings of Deprivation and Withdrawal
At this moment you probably think it’s impossible, because when you remove all those false pleasures, you know you will go through feelings of withdrawal and deprivation.
You will be left with all the emotions that you’ve been unwilling to feel and then you believe your life feels terrible.
Instead, at the end of the day, when you have that glass of wine, you feel that wonderful, warm glow and so you think your day had just gotten tremendously better.
Even though nothing really has changed, you just feel temporary relief.
Why Not Over Drink?
So then why not just buffer all the way through life?
Eat as much as you want, drink as much as you want, do all the drugs you want, have as sex as much as you want and buy everything you want?
The reason why is because all of that pleasure doesn’t add up to happiness. You end up feeling the opposite, because of the consequence that come with all false pleasures.
It’s such a bummer, right?
If you could have all those pleasures with no consequence, then we all would be on that train and nobody would care.
So, because you end up feeling so much pain and suffering, because the buffers only provide temporary release from negative emotion, those emotions come back harder and stronger.
Dealing With Difficult Emotions
What you will learn when you stop or minimize your drinking is that none of those emotions need to be eradicated immediately.
It’s okay to feel unhappy sometimes. It’s not the end of the world.
In fact, when you allow yourself to really feel, you get to know yourself in a much deeper way.
When you get to know yourself in a much deeper way, you start finding the causes of your unhappiness and then you can start to change them.
What Is True Happiness?
It’s very different from the temporary happiness you get from false pleasures, because true happiness is sustainable.
- You get your pleasure from being able to wake up in the morning and not feel sluggish or worried about what happened the night before.
- You get pleasure from a good nights rest, because your body will not be trying to process alcohol which disturbs your sleep.
- You get pleasure from feeling good in your body and being able to do all the things you want to do.
- You get pleasure from feeling totally in control of your life.
That pleasure is ongoing and sustainable and actually gets better and better and better.
That is the pleasure that you are meant to experience in your life.
Now, that doesn’t mean you won’t ever have difficult feelings ever again.
Of course, you will. You just won’t deal with it by drinking or eating ice cream.
Are You Willing To Be Unhappy?
As soon as you are willing to be unhappy, you discover the thoughts making you unhappy and then you have some authority to change them.
When you are constantly rejecting unhappiness and trying to solve it with false pleasure, it is an impossible loop to get out of.
What happens is you feel unhappy, so you overeat and/or over drink, you watch some T.V. or go online, then you feel more unhappy, so then you overeat and drink more, watch more T.V. and feel even more unhappy.
What would your world by like if you didn’t overeat, over drink, over spend, over work, over people please?
What would your life by like if you didn’t seek false pleasure and just go for a true, honest, authentic life?
How To Achieve Well-Being
My hard sell is for you is this.
I want to help you trade all of the false pleasures in your life for well-being.
When you do that, you gain confidence and that confidence begets more confidence.
The more confidence you have, the more empowered you feel, the more you feel the feelings of well-being, the more you have to give and offer the world.
That’s when you truly feel happy and are able to be the best version of yourself and contribute to the world.
When you are in a pleasure-seeking mode, you cannot give. You are in take mode…
You want to eat.
You want to drink.
You want to buy. You want, want, want.
You’re caught in a false desire spin that never gets satisfied that you always have to be escaping from.
Life Without Buffering
First, imagine your life without buffering.
Immediately, you are going to feel fear, because you’ve trained your brain to believe you can’t survive without buffering.
I promise you, you can.
I promise you that your life without it isn’t just tolerable, it’s actually way better.
If you’re constantly trying to avoid yourself, you never know who you truly are and what you are made of.
When you live in an authentic way, being your true self that gives you the most confidence to go out there and really show up in your life.
To go out there and at times fail, but not have to shield yourself with buffers.
What Are You Afraid Of?
What is the feeling that you’re so afraid to feel?
One of my clients said, “If I can give up my buffers and I can get to my ideal weight and no longer drink and experience all my emotions, what else will I be capable of?”
What really scared her was to imagine living a life doing what she would truly be capable of.
Either you believe you should use buffers and pleasure to try and create happiness.
Or you accept that half of your life is going to be experiencing some ebbs with the flows.
If you are willing to do that without escape, you will be able to remove all of the buffers in your life and all the negative consequences that come with it.
Bring It On!
My invitation to you is to give up the false pleasures, so you can enjoy the full pleasure of well-being and a fully lived life.
Knowing you can handle whatever comes up.
Knowing your able to dive through any difficult feeling, because you will have learned how to process them and let them go.
When you’re willing to do that, buffering will become unnecessary and all the negative consequences will go with it.
I know this is a hard sell.
I know it seems impossible, when you have been living your life another way.
But when you get to the other side, you’ll be saying, “Bring it. What else can I do?”
Need Help Drinking Less?
I have a stop over drinking and stop over eating programs that can help you reduce or stop. Click the graphic below to set up a free session.