HOW TO HANDLE FEAR
When fears shows up I suggest you…
When you feel fear you go into the fight or flight response, which evolved over millions of years to prepare our body for action.
It gives you quick reflexes, the pumping of muscles, heightened awareness and greater strength.
You will never get it to work for you if you never use it and learn to handle it.
In the last blog you learned to allow your fear by noticing it, acknowledging it and making space for it.
After you allow it, the next step is to…
Fear is totally harmless – the worst it can do is make you uncomfortable so invite it in.
Now you are probably thinking I don’t like the feeling!
No one said anything about liking it, but just suppose…
There is a mean and ornery woman who lives in your neighborhood and her wealthy children are willing to pay you $10 million to befriend her.
She has regular nasty outbursts and has horrible hygiene, so you really don’t like her, but it is $10,000,000!
Would you be willing to befriend her anyway for the money – I am sure you would.
So what if fear helped you live to your values, reach your goals, perform to your potential, become supremely confident and live a fuller more meaningful life?
HOW TO BE WELCOMING TO YOUR FEAR
Fear is not out to “get you.”
It is there for a purpose to help you deal with challenging situations.
It is trying to alert you to threat and danger and get your body ready for action.
So you are both playing on the same team – don’t fight it. It is here to support you.
Remind yourself, “This is my brain alerting me to a challenge. This is my body getting me ready.”
This is a teammate, not an opponent.
BE KIND TO YOUR FEAR
Use your imagination to invite it in your body and put your hand on the body part where you feel it most intensely and just “hold it” letting it feel the soothing warmth of your hand.
Try talking to it as you would a friend…
“Hello Fear. So glad you came by. Come on in and make yourself at home.”
“Oh so you came to give my heart a good workout. Give my knees a little shake? Add some butterflies to my stomach?”
“Go ahead. Let’s see what you have for me today.”
Don’t do this during the middle of a performance or test, because it will interfere with your focused attention.
There will be times when you are in bed, sitting at your desk or at the dinner table when you can try this.
CHANNEL YOUR FEAR
You’ve now allowed it and befriended it – now you can use it.
Notice all the energy it has given you.
The adrenaline flowing through your body.
You are geared up for action – pumped up, amped, wired, revved.
Ask yourself, “How can I make use of all this energy? What activities can I channel it towards?”
Remind yourself to use your fear when you are playing sports or giving a performance.
If you are on a plane or on a first date, you can’t channel your fear to activity so you just make room for it and engage in being fully present.
WHAT ABOUT CONFIDENCE?
If you are doing something new or challenging like giving a presentation, you may not feel confident but you can act confident.
Because genuine confidence is not the absence of fear.
The fear is always there in a challenging situation, no matter how confident you are, but by using it to give you a burst of energy and enhance your performance – you now have a new relationship to fear.
It may take awhile but once you get this, it will make a huge difference in your life.
You may start calling it “amped” or “pumped” instead of “fear” or “anxiety” or “worry.”
If there is nothing to channel your fear into, then just make room for it and engage fully in what you are doing.
LEARN HOW TO WELCOME FEAR
Want to learn more ways to welcome your fear and channel it? Contact me for a complimentary clarity session by clicking the graphic below.