Do You Want To Know How To Avoid Uncertainty?

DON’T!!!

We live in a society that values comfort, safety and certainty.

We are given the message early on that we should protect ourselves from everything we don’t know.

Those of us who are willing not to know and operate in uncertainty, are viewed as reckless and maybe even foolish.

Most people believe: we need certainty in our finances and for how long those we love will stick around.

We want security in our career, comfort in our home and in our friendships and lots of money in our retirement accounts as a safety net for all the things we can’t control or predict.

Uncertainty Brings Gifts

In our attempts to safeguard ourselves, we block the gifts that uncertainty creates like mystery, curiosity, wonder and awe.

Anthony Robbins, the motivational speaker, says to have a full life we need both certainty and uncertainty for true happiness.

Without uncertainty, you would end up being bored with you life.

Which can actually lead to a number of mental and physical health issues like depression, anxiety, addiction, self-sabotage, chronic fatigue and chronic pain.

Lean In

Instead, you could be willing to “lean in” to uncertainty as Sheryl Sandberg recommends in her best selling book by that name.

Be willing to live your life in a whole new way.

Stop fearing and resisting uncertainty.  Instead go for the rollercoaster ride on the unknown track.

Open yourself up to anticipation and possibility.

Allowing yourself to be attracted to mystery and curious what miracles may unfold.

When you don’t know what the future holds – anything could happen…

You could win the lottery!

You could experience a spontaneous remission from an illness!

You could meet the love of your life or leave your former love of your life!

When you don’t know, you live your life open to what’s possible and that’s exciting.

Practicing Uncertainty

Courage-Cultivating Homework: 

Like strengthening your muscles, changing your relationship with uncertainty requires exercise.

Here are some ideas to push the limits of your comfort with activities loaded with built-in uncertainty.

Get Rejected

Do you fear facing possible rejection? Entrepreneur and professional “fearbuster” Jia Jiang was afraid of rejection. 

So he challenged himself to make 100 crazy requests to get rejected.

His goal was to desensitize himself from the pain of rejection and overcome his fear.

The criteria he set for myself:

1. Ethical (no lying or marriage-undermining)

2. Legal

3. Doesn’t defy the law of physics

Some of the things he did:

Asked to borrow $100 from a Stranger

Request a “Burger Refill”

Ring a Bell for the Salvation Army

Would you be willing to put yourself into situations where you expect to get turned down?

I bet you’d surprise yourself that even when rejection happens, you can handle it.

Get Lost 

Afraid of the uncertainty of an unplanned road trip? Challenge yourself to get in your car and just keep turning left.

I once went on a date with a guy who did this. We wound up eating frozen lemonade at a Little League baseball game among strangers – it was totally fun!

Be willing to experiment.

Get adventurous and see where you end up.

Open Yourself Up To Failure

Fearful of not knowing whether you’ll succeed or not? Put yourself into situations where your success is uncertain.

Take a class to learn something you’ve never tried.

I always thought I was awful at art, so I took a college level art class a few years ago.  I was literally shaking as I walked into class.

Discover that you’re not good at everything, and that this is okay.

My fears were warranted but I was able to laugh at my failures.

Be willing to put yourself out there and fail.

Celebrate how brave you were for trying.

Think about how much fun you have if you go bowling when you don’t know how to bowl.

Imagine someone ice skating for the first time. Click on the link to see a video of me ice skating recently.wendy ice skating

We don’t expect kids to be good at something the first time they do it, but somehow we expect this of ourselves.

Don’t take yourself so seriously.

Be willing to fail miserably—or surprise yourself!

Need Help Mastering Something New?

Can you let go of the need to master something and instead enjoy the excitement of trying something new?

I’d love to help you learn the tools to master fear!  Contact me to set up a complimentary clarity session today.